23. Thor: The Dark World
“There is nothing more reassuring than realizing that the world is crazier than you are.”
Is it cliché? Nobody likes this movie.
This isn’t a terrible movie. Thor does very Thor-like things with Mjölnir and there’s an Infinity Stone that’s somehow not a stone but a mist. And there’s dark elves. But that’s about it. The realms go into this convergence thing where the worlds align and Thor has to stop the dark elf from, destroying everything? Yeah, that sounds about right… I think. End of times-type of deal and no one shows up to help Thor out. At least Hawkeye could have showed up.
22. Captain Marvel
“Excuse me, miss. You know anything about a lady blowing a hole through the roof of that Blockbuster over there? Witness says she was dressed for laser tag.”
I was really entertained by Captain Marvel when I saw it in the theater. When I tried to watch it at home, I fell asleep. Let’s be honest, this movie was like Riveter Rosie downing 10 cans of TAB – there’s so much female empowerment in it I can see why the toxic nerds of the internet hated it.
I wanted to rank this movie higher but let’s be honest, she’s Superman but instead of kryptonite her weakness is her emotional state? Yawn.
By the time this movie came out, we (nerds) were pretty sure an Avengers movie was on the way – as soon as they set up Captain America to be awoken from ice. Seeing Asgard for the first time was really cool. Aside from Thor earning his Mjölnir-worthiness, this movie kinda sucked too.
20. Iron Man 3
“There’s no politics here, it’s just good old-fashioned revenge. There’s no Pentagon. It’s just you and me. And on the off-chance you’re a man, here’s my home address: 10880 Malibu Point, 90265. I’ll leave the door unlocked. That’s what you wanted, right?”
It’s Tony Stark suffering from PTSD.
You know my biggest issue with this movie? This happens right after the first Avengers film – so we know all these other heroes and agencies exist. The president of the United States is straight up kidnapped, but S.H.I.E.L.D. is nowhere to be found. C’mon, you mean to tell me Captain America didn’t get some sort of notification in his earpiece? Or maybe Fury? Shit, I would have taken Agent Hill…