Entertainment Films & TV

Observations While Rewatching The Spider-Man Trilogy

Spider-Man 3 [2007]

Oh boy, where do I go with this one?

Villain #1

How in the hell did Harry figure all this out by himself in secret? Were there just instruction booklets lying around how to turn yourself into a goblin? I don’t recall Harry even remotely smart enough to do this himself.

Villain #2

What a coincidence, an alien lifeform finds its way to Peter Parker one random night.

“You knew this was coming, Pete…”

Again, how the hell did Harry Osborne figure out how to do all this Goblin stuff? He even managed to re-engineer the glider into a flying snowboard – because you know, coolness?

“It’s probably a bird. It’ll fly away when we fire it up.”

These scientists apparently give zero f*cks about laboratory safety. “Probably a bird”??? You want to check about that before you haphazardly fry some homeless dude to antimatter dust and get your research funding revoked?

And the cops show up right as the test finishes so they know these scientists just “killed” someone. I hope they all lost their jobs for this one.

“My best friends… I’d give my life for them….”

Ooh.. foreshadowing…

Villain #3

Alright, Sandman is probably the best thing about Spider-Man #3, aside from the retcon of Uncle Ben’s murder. With Harry and the symbiote/Venom already crowding this movie, Sandman is a relatable villain.

“I’m Edward Brock, Jr..”

I really was not a big fan of Topher Grace’s take on Eddie Brock. Watching this again, I’m still not a fan. He just didn’t seem like the antithesis to Peter Parker to me, especially in this movie – where Peter Parker was becoming more and more selfish, Eddie was just a turned up version of him, not an opposite.

By the way, can we talk about Peter Parker? Dude’s an idiot in this movie. All the fame gets to him big time. And he kisses Gwen Stacy on stage in front of MJ. He screws up like a million ways up until the symbiote leaves his body.

Nobody in this movie is likable by the midway point except Sandman, if only he didn’t kill Uncle Ben.

It’s frustrating to watch, really.. the descent of Peter Parker after we saw him struggle to do the right thing for 2 whole movies only for him to do all this stupid shit. Don’t tell me it’s because of the symbiote/black suit, he really wasn’t likable the whole movie like I said. At least in Venom, you know the symbiote had a personality of its own in contrast to Eddie Brock. Here, the symbiote is more like an enhancer.

Emo Parker here we go…

Emo Parker is so cartoonish. I’m not even gonna post the gif of him dancing it’s been done a million times and probably the lowest point of the movie.

“Find us some shade…”

Oh, did you know the symbiote enables you to play jazz piano too?

And what a coincidence that Eddie Brock, the man that hates Parker the most at this point of the movie, end up at the same church that Parker is trying to rid himself of the symbiote…

Still really cool to see, though.

So when Peter got the suit off, did he think it just went away into oblivion? Someone so smart just figured the symbiote disappeared? He pretends it’s gone forever. Until guess what, Mary Jane Watson gets kidnapped again…

Way to step up, Jeeves… 2 movies late.

By now the general public should know who Spider-Man is.. there were so many cameras at the scene of the final battle.

So do you think MJ and Pete hash it out by the end of the movie? He did kinda smack her in public during his emo rage.

Trilogy finished! After all these years, Spider-Man 2 still holds up as one of the best comic book movies ever made. Spider-Man 3 is actually not as bad as I remember it, if you ignore the emo phase.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *